If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
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