She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize