What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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