dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
