So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
