have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
