he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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