i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm like, not good at living.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
