How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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