Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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