Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
