I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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