I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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