batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
