You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
