I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
