i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
