So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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