I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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