The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
