At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Randomize