I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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