once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Randomize
