Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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