Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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