So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
