You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Boobs are out for the taking
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Randomize
