I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
