The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
