That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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