i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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