I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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