and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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