I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
