I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
