I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
