Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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