He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
