I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
