I saw his package. It spoke to me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she peed on how many people?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize