My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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