You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
