3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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