I never want to see another naked old woman again.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
