Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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