Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
