When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
