If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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