oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
When are your genitals available?
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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