Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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