We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm just crazy horny about you
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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