She announced her abortion via fbk
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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