ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Randomize
