whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
