we're making bets on your personal life
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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