the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
