The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Small penises have feelings too.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
